There was a time in 2005, it had been very tiring, mind draining weeks for me. My mind was so preoccupied by the singles medical mission. I had been constantly praying for guidance on the steps that should be taken for it. Honestly speaking, I had never attended one in my entire life. One of my best friends had been inviting me to join before but I was always too busy with my work, so I ended up just donating.
Months after joining the community, I joined the service team because the Lord wanted me to. I never really liked the idea because I know it will make me give up my comfort zone, but obeying, serving and loving the Lord are the desires of my heart. I don't want to offend Him. I don't want to hurt Him. I have to trust Him on this. He has a purpose in everything He asked of me.
Along the way, I was right, I had to give up things I want to do for me to follow His will. At first my resistance was there, but later I began to cheerfully do my tasks. Although it was tiring, God made me see something. Before, I get so tired with my work, with my career. My body and brain yearn for rest most of the time. Now I feel the same tiredness but there is more fulfillment and satisfaction and there is joy in my heart because what I do is for the Lord. And He never fails to give me rest, assurances, joy, gratitude, and blessings even if He doesn't have to because He had already given so much. For me, it's about time that I should be the one giving Him.
Anyway, now I ended up one of the point persons of the medical mission. Irony isn't it? Well not really. For in here, the works of the hands of our Dear Lord will be seen. I am inexperienced and not equipped for this task. In everything I do I ask Him and He teaches me. He equips me. Anything that comes out as a result of my efforts to help the others in this mission is because of the Lord. I depend on Him. The week before that, I was having apprehensions and fear in my heart, but He assured me through many ways. The one that hit me most was the homily of the priest saturday night. The Gospel was MATTHEW 11:25-30. It was about having rest in the Lord and His yoke that He will give is easy. The priest said that in Jesus time a yoke is put on two cows to plow the field. They are yokemates. He further said that today in our present lives, whatever Jesus asks us to do, it is His yoke and He is just inviting us to be His yokemate. He puts the heavy burden upon His shoulders and we are just there to help Him. He extends His hand toward us as an invitation it is up to us to take that hand and help Him or turn our back away.
It is a privilege to serve the Lord . . . . to be chosen by Him to do a certain task, whether big or small, whether as part of a team or as an individual. Before we were born, the Lord has set the purpose of our existence in His Master Plan, but the decision still lies upon us if we will do our part or not.
More than five times, I heard people say to me in different occasions to slow down a bit. I might get burned out, and like other people, have a backslide. Every time this happens, I look deep in my heart to check myself for I dont want this to happen to me . . . . I also venture into the thought that it might be the Lord is telling me to slow down. But every time, what I found there is love for the Lord. I have to give what I can for the Lord each day. If I slow down, if I tell myself I can do this or that for Him the next day and yet I still have the capacity to do it, there will be regret in me if the next day He holds my hand and bring me to the Father to live in His home eternally. I could have done something more that I can for Him and His people, I could have obeyed Him at that moment, if I chose to, before I leave this world.
Spiritual dryness or burning out can happen to anyone. It can be seen as a bad sign, but it can also be seen as a good sign. I prefer to see it as the latter. It is a sign, that one is giving his best for whatever he is working on, and if it is for the Lord it is definitely worth it. But the question here is what do we do about it if we experience it. Will we allow it to throw away the special relationship we have with the Lord? Or will we focus on the Lord and deepen more our relationship with Him and come out a victor over it? We can always have a break. We can always have a rest. We can have a vacation, spend time with the family, friends, a retreat . . . . do something different, go out of town, read a book, have a silent and restful moment with the Lord . . . . whichever way that fits us that will renew our burning desire in our heart.
But there is one thing that will stand out on this. How deep is our relationship with the Lord? The deeper we become in love with the Lord the more we will hold on to Him. Irregardless of whatever difficulties we experience, irregardless of how many burn outs we encounter, we will continue to serve Him because we are anchored on Him. If we deeply love the Lord, if we know Him in a personal way, if we look at the Father as our real Dear FATHER who cherishes us and treasures us, who longs for our embraces and enjoys loving us so much, if we look at Jesus as our real Dear Brother, who gave up His life for us, who offers His love and friendship to us, if we see our Dear Holy Spirit as our Counselor, One who makes us recognize who the Lord really is . . . . if we open up ourselves to all these, and experience them, and believe in them . . . . we will never abandon the Lord no matter what. If our Dear Lord is the center of our life, we will never turn our back from Him because our world will crumble. Our life will have no direction. We will have nowhere to go . . . . because God is our everything. If we have deep love for Him in our hearts, it is better to die than take away God from us.
WHHEEWW! That turned out to be too serious. WALA LANG (just nothing). I just had this urge in me to write this . . . . WALA LANG . . .
-luisadelacruz
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