MY LIFETIME COMMITMENT

When I was in elementary and high school, retreats and recollections were required in our religion classes. I really like attending them. I was always excited (yehheeeyyy!!!). They inspired me and made me feel closer to the Lord. When I graduated, sadly I had attended just a single retreat (sigh).

I always wanted to be a member of a community and serve Jesus (really), but I always say I am not ready (well . . . ). Invitations had been offered to me before, but I turned them down. I have all these reasons, stuffs and responsibilities to face (sorry, I can’t ‘coz . . . sorry, have so many things to do . . . sorry, my hair fell down and . . . ). I have so many priorities. I set aside my commitment to Jesus.

A commitment with Him is far greater than any responsibilities one can encounter. If I commit to Him, I have to give not just a hundred percent of my best but much more than my hundred percent (Ooooohhhhh!!!!!). I have to double or even triple the effort I gave to the responsibilities I had before. This is Jesus I am having a covenant with, not just a person, not just anybody. He is the Jesus who takes care of me, who loves me unconditionally, who protects me, who gives me strength . . . who laid down His sacred life for me. This is the Jesus who is my very, very, very best Friend. I don’t want to fall short when I give my commitment to Him. Well, I guess one of His differences from the others is that, even if I fall short, He will always understand me. That’s how great He is.

Now, I am ready to commit to Him. It came to a point in my life that all that I’ve worked hard for seems meaningless and pointless. I have let go and I am letting Jesus control my life. I can really feel His presence in my heart and He gives me so much happiness and contentment . . . . and peace.

My sister informed me that the singles for women of their community is having a retreat in Tagaytay. I am attending it so I can also be a member. For me, being its member will give me more ways to fulfil my commitment with Jesus. It will give me more opportunity to serve Him. I will also be a part of God’s community, of God’s family. I will be able to learn more how to treat other believers as my brothers and sisters. The retreat will be my appointment with Jesus. I waited more than a month for His invitation and here it is. This time, I will not turn Him down. These days will officially declare the agreement between Jesus and me. It is an opportunity I cannot let go. I have decided to have a deeper commitment to Jesus. I cannot ignore His call anymore. Even if I have to sacrifice something just to have this with Him, I will. I am determined to do this now.

I know I will be having a different life. It will be hard at first, but Jesus will be there as well as the members of the new family I will be adopted in. I hope I can fulfil my promise and my duty to the Lord. I hope I can be a very effective, humble servant and friend to Jesus. He is driving my life now, I do hope I will have a heart, mind and spirit that will trust in Him and will listen to His will all the time.

My life will not be mine anymore. It will be the Lord’s. Jesus will be driving my life. I will be safe as long as He is there. This will be my lifetime commitment.

-luisadelacruz (written september 11, 2004)

As I read this now and share with you, honestly, I got teary eyed. It's March 12, 2010. More than five years had passed. I could attest that I have a very different life, one that is more wonderful than before. I had been a member of a service team and servant head of a group of single sisters. I am now a member of our community's Training Ministry, an Intercessory Ministry servant head, a preacher, a writer, and on my way to being an author of my first book.

All these happened, and is happening by the grace of God! I did not know before that this is where God would be taking me. I don't know where else He would bring me, but I will follow my God wherever He would lead me . . . May my life and endeavors always glorify Him. Praise be to our loving God!