. . . AND THE WORD WAS MADE FLESH . . .

It is written:

Many people were shocked when they saw HIM; HE WAS DISFIGURED THAT HE HARDLY LOOKED HUMAN. ISAIAH 52:14

We despised HIM and rejected HIM; HE ENDURED SUFFERING AND PAIN. Noone would even look at HIM - WE IGNORED HIM AS IF HE WERE NOTHING. ISAIAH 53:3

BUT HE ENDURED THE SUFFERING THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN OURS, THE PAIN THAT WE SHOULD HAVE BORNE..... ISAIAH 53:4

BUT BECAUSE OF OUR SINS HE WAS WOUNDED, BEATEN BECAUSE OF THE EVIL WE DID. WE ARE HEALED BY THE PUNISHMENT HE SUFFERED, MADE WHOLE BY THE BLOWS HE RECEIVED. ISAIAH 53:5

.....But the LORD made the punishment fall on HIM, THE PUNISHMENT ALL OF US DESERVED. ISAIAH 53:6

HE WAS TREATED HARSHLY, BUT ENDURED IT HUMBLY; HE NEVER SAID A WORD..... ISAIAH 53:7

.....HE WAS PUT TO DEATH FOR THE SINS OF OUR PEOPLE. ISAIAH 53:8

THE LORD SAYS, "IT WAS MY WILL THAT HE SHOULD SUFFER; HIS DEATH WAS A SACRIFICE TO BRING FORGIVENESS....." ISAIAH 53:10

.....MY DEVOTED SERVANT, WITH WHOM I AM PLEASED, WILL BEAR THE PUNISHMENT OF MANY AND FOR HIS SAKE I WILL FORGIVE THEM. ISAIAH 53:11

.....HE WILLINGLY GAVE HIS LIFE AND SHARED THE FATE OF EVIL MEN. HE TOOK THE PLACE OF MANY SINNERS AND PRAYED THAT THEY MIGHT BE FORGIVEN. ISAIAH 53:12

Hear Me! Save Me now! Be my refuge to protect Me; My defense to save Me. PSALM 31:2

EVERYONE HAS FORGOTTEN ME, AS THOUGH I WERE DEAD; I AM LIKE SOMETHING THROWN AWAY. PSALM 3:12

IN HIS LIFE ON EARTH JESUS MADE HIS PRAYERS AND REQUESTS WITH LOUD CRIES AND TEARS TO GOD, WHO COULD SAVE HIM FROM DEATH. BECAUSE HE WAS HUMBLE AND DEVOTED, GOD HEARD HIM. BUT EVEN THOUGH HE WAS GOD'S SON, HE LEARNED THROUGH HIS SUFFERINGS TO BE OBEDIENT. HEBREWS 5:7-8

Jesus said to Peter, "Put your sword back in its place! DO YOU THINK THAT I WILL NOT DRINK THE CUP OF SUFFERING WHICH MY FATHER HAS GIVEN ME?" JOHN 18:11

.....ONE OF THE GUARDS THERE SLAPPED HIM..... JOHN18:22

....."Aren't you also one of the disciples of that Man?" BUT PETER DENIED IT. "NO, I AM NOT," he said. JOHN 18:25

Then Pilate took Jesus and HAD HIM WHIPPED. THE SOLDIERS MADE A CROWN OUT OF THORNY BRANCHES AND PUT IT ON HIS HEAD; then they put a purple robe on Him and came to Him and said, "Long live the King of the Jews!" AND THEY WENT UP AND SLAPPED HIM! JOHN 19:1-3

.....they shouted, "CRUCIFY HIM! CRUCIFY HIM!" JOHN 19:6

They shouted back, "KILL HIM! KILL HIM! CRUCIFY HIM!"..... JOHN 19:15

He went out, CARRYING HIS CROSS, and came to "The Place of the Skull," as it is called (In Hebrew it is called "Golgotha") tHERE THEY CRUCIFIED HIM..... JOHN 19:17-18

.....THEY DIVIDED MY CLOTHES AMONG THEMSELVES AND GAMBLED FOR MY ROBE..... JOHN 19:24

.....He said to His mother, "He is your son." Then He said to His disciple, "She is your mother"..... JOHN 19:26-27

JESUS SAID, "FORGIVE THEM, FATHER! THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING"..... LUKE 23:34

THE SOLDIERS MADE FUN OF HIM: THEY CAME UP TO HIM AND OFFERED HIM CHEAP WINE AND SAID, "SAVE YOURSELF IF YOU ARE THE KING OF THE JEWS." LUKE 23:36-37

AT THREE O'CLOCK JESUS CRIED OUT WITH A LOUD SHOUT, "ELOI, ELOI, LEMA SABACHTHANI?" WHICH MEANS, "MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY DID YOU ABANDON ME?" MARK 15:34

JESUS CRIED OUT IN A LOUD VOICE, "FATHER! IN YOUR HANDS I PLACE MY SPIRIT!" HE SAID THIS AND DIED. LUKE 23:46

"IT IS FINISHED!" THEN HE BOWED HIS HEAD AND GAVE UP HIS SPIRIT. JOHN 19:30

WITH A LOUD CRY JESUS DIED. MARK 15:37

JESUS AGAIN GAVE A LOUD CRY AND BREATHED HIS LAST. MATTHEW 27:50


My God, my Lord, because of my sins You suffered. YOU TOOK THE PUNISHMENT THAT IS MEANT FOR ME. YOU DO NOT DESRVE IT. It is I who should have been there. It is I who should have been mocked, crowned with thorns, whipped. It is I who should have carried the Cross. It is I who should have been crucified.

I have rejected You. YOU GAVE YOUR LIFE FOR ME. YOU SUFFERED FOR MY SAKE.....FOR MY FORGIVENESS.....FOR MY SALVATION. You have been so unselfish, my Lord. You felt fear. You felt turning back for You knew what would happen to You. You felt abandoned.....and yet.....YOU ENDURED THEM ALL and obeyed the Father's will to the finish. YOU TRUSTED HIM STILL.

You, my innocent Lord, my God, my Master.....took my place, Your creation, Your servant.....the sinner. Nothing can surpass what you did for me. Nothing can surpass your greatness. THANK YOU, MY DEAR JESUS with all my mind, all my soul, and most especially with all my heart. I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU. I AM SO MUCH INDEBTED TO YOU.

My life is not enough to repay what you have done for me. Nothing I can offer can give back what you gave me.....what you did for me. My Lord, let me die with You in that Cross. Let me share the burden that should have been mine. And as I die with You, my dear Lord, renew my spirit to be worthy of what You have gone through. Make me, my Lord, like You, who learned through Your sufferings to be obedient to our Dear Father in all humility.

Dear Jesus, let Your Spirit live in me so I can endure all the trials and sufferings I have to face for the glory of Your Kingdom. Make my heart..... always..... have the desire to serve and to love.

Let that desire keep burning in my heart so that Your sacrifice will not be in vain with me. As You offered Your precious life for me, let me offer my humble life to You. AS YOU DIE ON THAT CROSS TO FULFILL YOUR PURPOSE.....LET ME DIE WITH YOU TO FULFILL MINE. AMEN.

-luisadelacruz

MY DREAM

My Dream

Some day I want
to feel the gentle breeze
as the Lord’s
touch and embrace.
Some day I want
to feel the warm sun
as the Lord’s
undying love for me.
Some day I want
to see the blue sky
as the Lord’s
window where He watches me.
Some day I want
to see the beautiful flowers
as the Lord’s
gift to cheer me.
Some day I want
to look at people
as the Lord’s
brothers and sisters, as I am.
But most of all,
yes, above all,
some day I want
to feel and see myself
as the Lord’s
reflection . . . . a Christlike person!

luisadelacruz october 13, 2004

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

I heard Someone knocking (knock, knock, knock) just faint ones. I ignored it. Several times I heard them from time to time, but I chose to ignore them. Until one day I peeped just to know who was this so persistent Being knocking so tirelessly.

I peeped by the window of my heart, and I saw Jesus standing just outside its door, knocking so patiently. So I decided to open the door slightly. That was last July 2004. Since that day, He never stopped knocking, louder and louder each time (knock, Knock, KNock, KNOck, KNOCk, KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!) up to the point I had opened the door wide and let Him in.

First, He sent the Holy Spirit to put a desire in my heart to commit to Him . . . I did, half-heartedly. I laid low in my career, I even thought of stopping for a while because this was my biggest hindrance in committing to Him. He made me listen to Don Moen’s songs almost everyday and a refrain from one of the songs kept echoing in my mind (. . . be it unto me according to Your Word, according to Your promises I can stand secure. Carved upon my heart, the truth that sets me free, according to Your Word O Lord, be it unto me . . .).

He sent the Holy Spirit to make me write my stories and reflections and gave copies to people and through them I received confirmations that He was touching the readers’ hearts. He made me buy a book, The Purpose Driven Life. I burrowed my sister’s copy, but when I started reading it, I stopped and bought my own copy, then read it daily and even encoded my reflections after reading each chapter. This book, explained to me so many things. It answered my questions, confirmed to me the things that were starting to happen to me. As I finished it, I realized that the topics of the last chapters, I had already been doing, some I had already planned to do. All these, helped me commit to Him more and more and more.

Second, September 2004, during the anniversary celebration of the Light Of Jesus (LOJ), a transparochial Catholic community, Jesus showed me that it was the family of God where I belong. He touched my heart there and even sent a message through the Gospel of the Holy Mass. Actually, I was guilty of not listening to the first part of it because I was thinking of the worship before the Mass. Then my sister gave me a jolt and told me that the Gospel may be meant for me. When I focused my attention to it, the part the priest was saying was about one had to choose between two master’s because you could not serve both at the same time, and his homily sure talked to me.

Now I thought I had given Jesus my full commitment, until He sent me a text message which had a great impact on me that I cried so much and renewed my commitment with Him, but this time deeper. Even if He will ask me not to have my own family and even if He will ask me not to go back to my career I will obey. It is up to Him. I gave Him my word. Whatever He wants me to do, I will do for Him. This was the fourth knock, and it was a very loud knock.

I thought it was the last. The fifth was on my birthday. I attended an early morning Mass. The Gospel, again talked to me, it was about when Jesus sent the seventy two disciples to be His messengers. And there was another thing, a very important thing, He revealed to me that day that I had to have a willing heart in order for me to serve Him effectively. I must obey Him willingly so He could fulfill His promise to me, that in every unselfish thing that I would do for Him, He would be giving me overflowing joy.

The sixth (well . . . He saved the loudest knock in the last, yes, this was the last), it was The Feast, a Sunday celebration of LOJ. It was still in AFP Camp Aguinaldo. I attended the first session with my eldest sister, her husband, and their daughter. We were a bit late so when we arrived, one third of the first song had been sang. The moment I stood in front of my sit and focused on the song, wow, I was in tears. It didn’t stop there, the following two songs made me cry even more. I was not familiar with the two of them but one was I Offer My Life by Don Moen. Boy, I was a bit ashamed because everybody around me was singing and rejoicing and smiling while I was in tears with my shoulders slightly jolting up and down from time to time as I try to minimize my cry (it was a good thing we were on the side and it was a bit dark there).

When Bo Sanhez, the leader of the community, had his talk, I was calm and I had stopped crying. But, my, the whole message, it was all that Jesus wanted to tell me, it was about Jesus getting into Peter’s boat and telling him to cast out his net to catch fishes and with total obedience Peter did as he was told and the net caught so many fishes that their nets were tearing (Luke 5:3-7). Discipleship, total obedience and trusting Jesus, fishing for people for the glory of the Lord in the vast sea of life, these hit me with a big bang. When Bro. Bo asked all of us to raise our hands and ask God for a blessing that we wanted to have, all I could ask was the courage to trust in Jesus . . . that was all I could ask. That moment all I wanted was for me to trust Him, nothing else . . . and it was granted . . . my prayer was granted. That was such a blessed day for me!

That was the end of the knockings in the door of my heart as God was calling me to commit. After that, Jesus entered my heart as I allowed Him to come in. He dwells in it. I am at peace and I am filled with so much overflowing joy. He tells me what to do, and I obey. He lets the Holy Spirit fill me and transform me. My courage to trust Him gets rattled at times, but immediately I ask for His help to steady it and He never fails me. A friend sent me a classic prayer, which I pray : “Dear Lord, Your will Be Done, nothing more, nothing less, nothing else. AMEN.”

-luisadelacruz

PUPPY THOUGHTS

September 2004, somebody gave my sister a puppy. She is a chihuahua. She is so very tiny (aaaaa, very cute), in fact, less than a foot and a half in height when she stands with her two front feet stretched up. Her color is brown and white. She is so very jolly . . . . really jolly. She always wags her tail whenever she sees me (mind you, the wag, faster than superman that even her behind seems to go with her tail). When I hold her up in the air with my one hand, her heart beats faster with fear (thugathugathuathugathug, he, he, he). But when I get her attention, her heart’s rhythm is still the same but she still wags her tail (ha, ha, ha), oh yes, she wags her tail.

When I hold her in my arms to cuddle her, she’s so hyper that she moves a lot toying with my hands, with my clothes, and even with my hair. When I put her down, she’ll run to and fro (zooooom . . . . zooooom), sliding at times, but not minding it. She will immediately get up and run again (zooooom . . . . zooooom). When I put her on the arm rest of the sofa, she will lie there while I protect her from falling. Sometimes she will scratch herself not minding if she falls or not. She knows my arm is there to catch her. At times I get hold of her as she is in the act of jumping even if the height is too high for her tiny body (wow, this puppy has so much courage).

Her eyes (oh boy), so very, very alert. They are so round and always on the look out. When she hears even a slight sound unfamiliar to her, she will immediately bark with her loud voice (Yap! Yap! Yap! Yes, as tiny as she is, she has a loud voice). Her body even reflects her alertness. I can see it in the way she sit, lie, stand, and move.

She is an intelligent puppy. She always tries to find a way to go where she wants to go, no matter if it’s on top of a chair. She always tries. Though at times she does not succeed, she just keeps on trying. She is so full of hope. That puppy is really something. She really makes me laugh. She puts joy in my heart. I love her.

So why am I telling you about her? Because through that puppy, Jesus enlightened my confused mind that time. He wants me to be like her (well . . . . not to bark like a puppy or scratch like her). Before the time I was about to have my struggle with myself, Jesus sent her in our home. She gave me a hearty laugh. As the days pass by, I began to notice her characters. Eventually, I saw the reason why He sent her.

Jesus wants me to be jolly, even when I have fear in my heart. He wants me to be cheerful and trusting in Him even when He is holding me in the air with one hand. He wants me to be playful, hyper, and always on the go while performing the task He will be giving me. Whenever I will slide, I just have to get up and go on with what I am doing for Him. I should always have courage in my heart to jump without thinking if I can handle the height or not . . . . I should have courage to trust in Him even if I do not know where He leads me.

I should always be alert for whatever Jesus will ask of me. I should always be on the look out for an opportunity to be of service. I should always try to find a way to fulfill my task, no matter how impossible it may seem. Even if at times I fail, I should never give up and keep on trying. I should always be full of hope.

Wow! Jesus really knows how to get through me. Even in just a very tiny puppy, He sends His message to me. He really knows me. He knows I am very fond of puppies. He selected this particular one and put all the characteristics He needs me to see. What a time to send her in my life. It is very much in time.

I named her Revie. It is from the word revelation, because through her, Jesus enlightened my mind.

-luisadelacruz

HOME

August 2004, my sister asked me I if wanted to come to the anniversary celebration of the Light Of Jesus (LOJ), of which she is a member. I said yes, thinking that Jesus was the one inviting me.

That day came. I went with them. On the way to St. Paul college, Quezon City where it will be held, I saw a man so very dirty. He was wearing black t-shirt and shorts. He had no slippers. He knelt down on the ground and drank from the dirty water on the gutter, just like a dog.

Normally, when I saw people like him and situations like that, I just prayed to the Lord to bless the person. I just wondered what happened in their life that it turned out that way. But this day, it was different. I felt pain, not just pity, but pain. I closed my eyes, and asked Jesus, ‘Why do I feel this way? Am I seeing it through Your eyes?’ I opened my eyes and looked at the man again. The pain was still there. I thought Jesus must have felt much more pain.

When we arrived in the gym where the celebration would be held, I forgot what I saw. I went to the ladies room. A man was kind enough to point me where it was. My sister just followed. While waiting for her after I finished, an elderly lady greeted me as she entered the comfort room. She said, ‘Hello, sister, good morning!’ She had a big smile while saying this. I replied, ‘Good morning.’, as I smiled back at her. When she left after using the ladies room, she even turned around after she passed me and asked, ‘What chapter are you, sister?’. I answered ‘Oh, my sister just invited me.’ She replied with enthusiasm, ‘That’s very good, sister.’, then left without forgetting to give me a smile. When my sister came out, I told her Jesus welcomed me, then relayed to her what happened.

When I took my sit inside the gym. The man who pointed the ladies room to me, opened the electric fans and steadied one towards my direction. I accidentally turned around and saw what he was doing. He was looking at me but before I could smile and say thank you, he shyly looked the other way. Wow! This was another welcome from Jesus.

People of all ages, from the very young to the very old, started filling up the place. Wow, again! Everybody was greeting almost everybody, handshaking, kissing on the cheeks, with big, big smile on the faces. There was warmth everywhere. Then the celebration started. It was a big bang! Everybody was singing on top of their voices. Some were even dancing. You could really see the happiness on their faces. Everybody was smiling.

Suddenly I found myself close to tears. A tear or two even escaped my eyes. I seemed to feel what Jesus is feeling. I felt, He was crying with tears of joy. The shouting praises and worships of the people were thundering towards the heavens. The voices of their hearts were music to His ears. He felt so loved by them. Jesus was really happy during that moment. He looked down upon these people, His community, His family with so much joy in His heart. He was so grateful to the obedient and trusting leader of this community. I could not explain what I felt . I was in tears.

Then I remembered what I felt towards the poor, dirty man on our way there. I wondered if Jesus used that situation to give me a hint that He would let me see the celebration through His eyes. It felt like He lend me His eyes and made me feel what He felt.

My celphone beeped, I was about to ignore the idea of looking at the message, but something bugged me, ‘What if it comes from Jesus?’, and so, I read the text. It was a daily text message. The first sentence struck me. It said, ‘ARE YOU HAPPY?’. Wow! I knew it came from Jesus. I closed my eyes and answered Him, ‘Yes, Lord, I am very happy because You are very happy.’

During the Holy Mass, the Gospel and the sermon of Fr. Steve, the presider, seemed to talk to me. According to the Gospel, you cannot serve two masters at the same time. You should choose just one. In his homily, Fr. Steve, mentioned the presence of Jesus in the community and how important the service one could do, even from the tiniest task to the biggest responsibility. The talent that God gave to each and everyone should be shared for His glory. I felt like Jesus was requesting me to give Him my full trust and just follow His lead.

As I experienced this anniversary celebration, I saw unselfish people sacrificing themselves for the glory of the Lord. They were giving the best they could, trusting Him, and obeying Him. I also saw love….yes, I saw love there. My, these people were so dedicated to Jesus.

This was the first time I attended their anniversary, and they were celebrating their twenty fourth. It felt home for me. I was not even a member yet, but God welcomed me. The people there smiled at me, greeted me, extended their hands to me, they even shared their food with me during lunch.

Jesus invited me. I had accepted. He made sure I felt at home. He made sure I would see that this would be my family. As I committed myself to Him, they became my brothers and sisters. I knew, I am home.

-luisadelacruz

WHAT IF THE WORLD IS BLACK AND WHITE???

What if God made the world in black and white? Have you ever thought of seeing no colors around you?

Imagine no red, no blue, no yellow, no lavender or no orange flowers to uplift your soul. No green, green grasses and leaves to refresh your eyes. No yellow sun, no blue sky contrasting with the white, fluffy clouds to warm your heart. No brown, black or gray dogs and cats with their blue or green eyes that add to our delight in them.

No painted cars, jeepneys, and buses to make our streets not boring. No colorful computer monitors to add interest to what we are doing. Not even colorful pictures to look at as we reminisce the wonderful moments we had or as we read the books we enjoy. No colorful paints to put on our houses, furnitures, and fabrics to welcome us at the end of the day and greet us when we wake up in the morning. No different shades of clothes to choose from. Not even colorful food to build our appetite.

And when we go on a fieldtrip or outing. No brown tree trunks and branches with green leaves and sometimes yellow or orange flowers. No golden corns nor rice plants to give beauty to the fields. No butterflies with different shades to appreciate. No brown big mountains, no blue bodies of water, no flying birds of different colors to relax our minds. And so on and on and on . . .

WOW! A WORLD IN BLACK AND WHITE SURE IS SOOOOOO BORING AND GLOOMY!
I guess that is why God created the world in full color. He thought man should live in an interesting, beautiful and alive world. He uses even this simple thing to tell us how much He loves us. He uplifts our soul through it. He shows He really cares and wants to cheer you up. God is a happy God. He wants to share to you His happiness through the colorful, wonderful world you live in. So, the next time you open your eyes, appreciate the different shades of color you see and, my golly, THANK GOD FOR THEM!

-luisadelacruz

MY LIFETIME COMMITMENT

When I was in elementary and high school, retreats and recollections were required in our religion classes. I really like attending them. I was always excited (yehheeeyyy!!!). They inspired me and made me feel closer to the Lord. When I graduated, sadly I had attended just a single retreat (sigh).

I always wanted to be a member of a community and serve Jesus (really), but I always say I am not ready (well . . . ). Invitations had been offered to me before, but I turned them down. I have all these reasons, stuffs and responsibilities to face (sorry, I can’t ‘coz . . . sorry, have so many things to do . . . sorry, my hair fell down and . . . ). I have so many priorities. I set aside my commitment to Jesus.

A commitment with Him is far greater than any responsibilities one can encounter. If I commit to Him, I have to give not just a hundred percent of my best but much more than my hundred percent (Ooooohhhhh!!!!!). I have to double or even triple the effort I gave to the responsibilities I had before. This is Jesus I am having a covenant with, not just a person, not just anybody. He is the Jesus who takes care of me, who loves me unconditionally, who protects me, who gives me strength . . . who laid down His sacred life for me. This is the Jesus who is my very, very, very best Friend. I don’t want to fall short when I give my commitment to Him. Well, I guess one of His differences from the others is that, even if I fall short, He will always understand me. That’s how great He is.

Now, I am ready to commit to Him. It came to a point in my life that all that I’ve worked hard for seems meaningless and pointless. I have let go and I am letting Jesus control my life. I can really feel His presence in my heart and He gives me so much happiness and contentment . . . . and peace.

My sister informed me that the singles for women of their community is having a retreat in Tagaytay. I am attending it so I can also be a member. For me, being its member will give me more ways to fulfil my commitment with Jesus. It will give me more opportunity to serve Him. I will also be a part of God’s community, of God’s family. I will be able to learn more how to treat other believers as my brothers and sisters. The retreat will be my appointment with Jesus. I waited more than a month for His invitation and here it is. This time, I will not turn Him down. These days will officially declare the agreement between Jesus and me. It is an opportunity I cannot let go. I have decided to have a deeper commitment to Jesus. I cannot ignore His call anymore. Even if I have to sacrifice something just to have this with Him, I will. I am determined to do this now.

I know I will be having a different life. It will be hard at first, but Jesus will be there as well as the members of the new family I will be adopted in. I hope I can fulfil my promise and my duty to the Lord. I hope I can be a very effective, humble servant and friend to Jesus. He is driving my life now, I do hope I will have a heart, mind and spirit that will trust in Him and will listen to His will all the time.

My life will not be mine anymore. It will be the Lord’s. Jesus will be driving my life. I will be safe as long as He is there. This will be my lifetime commitment.

-luisadelacruz (written september 11, 2004)

As I read this now and share with you, honestly, I got teary eyed. It's March 12, 2010. More than five years had passed. I could attest that I have a very different life, one that is more wonderful than before. I had been a member of a service team and servant head of a group of single sisters. I am now a member of our community's Training Ministry, an Intercessory Ministry servant head, a preacher, a writer, and on my way to being an author of my first book.

All these happened, and is happening by the grace of God! I did not know before that this is where God would be taking me. I don't know where else He would bring me, but I will follow my God wherever He would lead me . . . May my life and endeavors always glorify Him. Praise be to our loving God!

THE ROCK BENEATH MY FEET

When we were constructing a house in Quezon City in 2002, we encountered an enormous adobe rock. It was laying on one of the holes excavated for a foundation. We had to remove a portion of it so we could reach the required deep we need.

The people took turns in hammering it (Thug! Thug! Thug!). Their hands were sore by the end of each day (hapdiiiii). If we used a jackhammer (Thugratatatatathug!), it would be faster, but we had no electrical supply yet. We had to do the chipping manually. That solid adobe rock, with its gigantic size lying on the ground, cannot be moved easily. Even if we had chipped off a portion, the rest of it stays there majestically. It didn’t mind every single blow we throw upon it.

That solid rock . . . reminds me of Jesus. During the hardest parts of my life, I need someone to support me. I need someone to help me get through alive and kicking. I need all the strength I can get, the love, and the care. Jesus is that Someone. He unconditionally provides all I need. He, practically, is everything I need to stand on the ground and face the situation at hand. He never leaves me. He is always . . . always there. Even if at times I hurt Him, even if at times I forget Him, even if at times I betray His trust, He majestically stays, with all His heavenly love for me. His trust never lessens. His forgiveness is unending. He just stays there, not minding the blows I throw upon Him. He just continues loving me and keeping me upright no matter what comes to me in my life. He is the very reliable rock that holds me steady. Jesus is the solid rock beneath my feet.

-luisadelacruz

THE BEAUTY OF DYING

My dear Papa was hospitalized for months. He was diagnosed with cancer. It was a shock for the whole family, especially to my beloved Mama. They had been married for forty-two years and blessed with four beautiful daughters (that includes me, of course). Through life’s ups and downs, our family stuck together with Jesus as our guiding light.

When my dear Papa died, wow, that was huge for me. I thought I was ready for any death in the family because for me everybody would die sooner or later (knock, knock…our life here is just temporary, you know). But I found out, I’m human…..with a soft heart…..prone to pain. He was supposed to check out from the hospital for his condition was improving, but complications found a way in his body. I prayed for his recovery with all the sincerity I could put into it (pls, pls, pls Lord). I cried. I begged. I danced (just kidding). But then, I saw him in the ICU helpless with so many machines and tubes attached to him. I went to the chapel and I cried like there was a waterfall in my eyes (spplllaaasshh). I didn’t mind the people having mass. All I care that moment was my dear Papa in the ICU (a woman pitied me that after the mass she gave me a postcard of Mama Mary). I prayed again with all the sincerity I could put into it. But this time, I asked the Lord to fetch my dear Papa and welcome him in His kingdom with open arms. Jesus did fetch him. I still cried. It is still painful, but I know he is better off there rather than here with a hardheaded daughter (hey! It is a joke. Ha, ha, ha!)

We had a hard time telling this to my beloved Mama. We didn’t know how. She had a heart ailment (in fact she took seven kinds of medicine for it). We even asked her closest sister to assist us in breaking the news to her. During the first months, she missed him so much (wow, it was really true love). Friends and relatives would come to appease her, until she had accepted that it was the Lord’s will. After seven months, she had a heart attack. She died peacefully. I also cried. It was painful, too, but I know she was happy to be reunited with my father and her Creator. She deserved to rest in the Lord’s bosom with my dear Papa. She had been so very good, not just with her family but with other people, too. She had helped so many of them in her lifetime. Her leaving was painful but should be with applause (Clap! Clap! Clap!). Her life here on earth was a job well done.

Oftentimes, we see death as a lost. We cry so much. We mourn so much. We are in great anguish. It is normal because we are human with a fragile heart. But what we do not see is the beauty of dying. Yes, we will miss the person. We can’t imagine how we will live our life without them, but this is what we feel. We grief for a while, but later, instead of moping around for their physical absence in our lives, we should be happy for them. We should stop thinking of ourselves for a moment and think of what will happen to them.

They are much blessed than we are because they will be at the bosom of the Lord. They are with Jesus. Forever they will have eternal peace, no worries, no problems and most of all they are literally beside Jesus in the whole sense of its meaning. What is greater than that?

Have you ever thought of the beauty of being beside the Lord eternally? Of being in paradise with Him? Oh, wow! We always focus in our lives here on earth. We seem to think that life here is endless. We are so much attached to everything that we have materially. We are so much attached in our life here.

Well, it is about time to think of our life after death. Our existence here is just a preparation for it. How we live here will determine our worthiness of being with the Lord after we die. We should always be aware of this and let our loved ones and others be aware of it, too. Let's strive to live our life without shame in the Lord’s eyes and behold . . . experience the beauty of dying..

-luisadelacruz

ENJOY LIFE AS IT COMES

I remember, when I was in high school, I had a pet friend named Sugar. He was a small, hairy dog with a curly tail that wagged at the sound of my voice (Suuggaarr, Suuggaarr, tsk, tsk, tsk). His color was brown and white. He was cute, playful, very brave and sweet. I loved him very much and I knew he felt the same for me (it was not a hunch).

Whenever my sisters would pretend to slap me or punch me or hit me, I would call on him (Sugar! Aray! Aray! Aray! Sugar!). Within a glimpse, he would zoom in between them and me and bark as loud as he could (Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!). He would show his sharp fangs and scare them away, then he would jump towards me and lick my face (slurp, slurp, slurp) (oooohh, yyaakkkk) and then look at us wondering why in the world were we laughing (he, he, he).

Well, he got sick and on the day of my high school graduation (sigh), he died. I never shed even a single tear. But from then on, I never got close to any dog we had. After eight years, I found myself writing a poem about him and I burst into gallons and gallons of tears (wwwaaaa, wwwaaa, wwwaaa, zzznnnngggaaaa). After all those years, I still cried like that. He was not just my pet, not even just a friend, but he was my playmate, my best friend, and I loved him.

Since that hearty cry, I found myself playing and hugging pet dogs again, especially cute, little puppies (Yap! Yap! Yap!) . . . . and even cats, too (meooow). Time healed my pain. But if I only allowed myself to nurse it for a shorter time, I could have enjoyed the other playful and cute doggies after him. If I faced the hurt of his lost sooner and didn’t keep it in the deepest part of my heart, I could have cuddled and loved more dogs and have treasures of happy memories spent with them (hhhaaayyy!).

Oftentimes, many of us do this. We get hurt. We brood. We curse. We get angry at times (BRAG!). But the worst, we nurse these feelings for a long time. Why? For the simple reason that we don’t want to feel pain again. We are afraid to be hurt. We want to protect our hearts from being crushed again. The result, (tsk, tsk, tsk) we miss the opportunity to enjoy life and be happy. We miss the opportunity of how the Lord is trying to heal that pain. We turn our backs, close our eyes and cover our ears, but we are lucky enough that Jesus is so persistent. As many dogs have been brought in our house through the years after Sugar’s death, Jesus has been doing everything just to cheer you up . . . . maybe through your family and friends, maybe through the situations that are happening in your life, or maybe..…just maybe…through a dog like Sugar.

When you get hurt, cry until your eyes swell, until there are no more tears to shed, then let it end there. Offer your wounded heart to Jesus and let Him heal it. You may be surprised how fast your recovery will be (wow!), for He knows the best medicine for each kind of hurt you experience, a medicine that is much, much better than the ones you usually take. So do not be afraid, collect your treasure of memories . . . . Enjoy life as it comes!

-luisadelacruz

INSPITE OF ALL ITS SHAMS . . . . LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

One early morning I was sitting on a big, round rattan chair which could turn 360 degrees (zoooooom). I was in Cebu then and the house owners invited us for a vacation. That chair was my favorite. It was located at the patio beside a small garden. From there you could see the 3-meter wide street which was not yet cemented. On the opposite side was a vacant lot where frogs usually sing in chorus (kokak, kokak, kokak) and play like kids (jump, jump, jump). You could also watch the children running, laughing and shouting (Taya, taya! Daya mo! Oh those children). Matching this scene was the warm sunlight, the blue sky with its white, fluffy clouds, the chirping birds, the cool air, the colorful flowers and the green, green grass beneath them…and the big rattan chair that went round and round with me sitting on it (Whoaaah! I’m dizzy!). What a sight! What a feeling! What a beautiful morning!

Suddenly, it became dark. Big drops of rain fell from the sky. The children run inside their houses. The frogs and the birds looked for their own shelters, too. The sun with the blue sky was no more (sigh). There went my beautiful morning.

I stayed and watched the heavy rain pour down with all its might until it subsided gradually (Brrrrrr! It was so cold!). By then, I noticed its raindrops. Each created a crown-like shape as they touch the ground (drip, drip, drip). I watched each of them touch the leaves as they wiggled and enjoyed its sprinkle. I watched it touch the flowers as they shivered and said hello. I watched it touch the grass as it softened by its drop. I put out my hand and let a raindrop touch my palm. Oh, it was a bit cold, but it was so cute and lovely, and refreshing, too (Well, this last part was an excerpt from a poem I wrote from this marvelous situation, so the flowers didn’t really talked, but it felt that way).

The rain stopped. The sun peeped again and beamed its light. The sky was blue again. Joining it were the fluffy, white clouds. The frogs, the birds and the children came back. Things were the same as before with one difference, the touch of the rain, the trace of its downpour. I felt happier than before (in fact, I had a big smile on my face and a twinkle in my eyes).

That situation made me realize something (Cchhiiiiinngg!). Often times we have many heavy rains in our lives. They pour hard with all their might. They shutter us with so much pain, regret and hopelessness. Some rain even brings thunder, lightning, hurricane and even tidal waves (they seem to enjoy blistering our lives). When they are gone, we may be left crawling, wounded, bathing with our own blood and almost breathless. But at the end of it all, we learn our lessons (remember the traces of the rain in Cebu) and we get wiser. We feel the love and support of the people around us. But the most important of all, these are the times we really feel closer to Jesus.

During those nasty rains, He was there beside us. He never left us even for just a single moment. He tried to protect us, to support us and to give us hope and all the love we need. After all was over, Jesus carries us, nurses us until we can stand again (or until we forget Him again and just remember Him the next rain…..how awful). After each rain, we get on with our lives. We pick up were we fell. But this time wiser, more loved, more blessed and, most importantly, more Jesus in our hearts. So, INSPITE OF ALL ITS SHAMS . . . . LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, especially when you realize and when you believe with all your heart that Jesus is greatest Friend you can ever have and He will be there beside you . . . . always.

-luisadelacruz

THE POWER OF PRAYER

It was 1995, my heart was beating fast (THUG! THUG! THUG!). It was deafening! It was the day I defended my thesis. There were three jurors who bombarded me with questions like a machine gun being fired (RATATATATATAT!). Ooooh, I had to keep my heart from jumping out of my mouth, and my mind from getting insane so I could backfire with my answers. Then, the moment of cease-fire came. Now, it was the silence that was deafening. The verdict . . . . I passed (Whew!).

In 1998, boy! I woke up early that day. (Ohurmm!) I was still sleepy. I didn't sleep well the night before and I had to get up early the next day. I couldn’t get late. It was the first day of my three-day board exam (here came the jitters again…..the same as my thesis day). After the first exam, my energy was drained. For the next two days, this was my situation. The third day was the worst. I had to summon all my strength, all the knowledge stored in my mind, and all the skills I had in my body (Oh, come to me all of you, ohmmm, and assist me in my exam today, ohmmm). I didn’t know how I got home that day. For a month I had to wait for the result in the newspapers. (Tik, tak, tik, tak) The torturing hours and days and weeks of waiting seemed to be endless. Then, came the result . . . . out of the 1,250 board examinees only 466 passed, and my name was on the list (HOORRAAYY! YIPEE! YAHOO!). I really made my family proud!

These were just two of the most memorable parts of my life. I couldn’t have made it without Divine assistance. Yes, I had put extra efforts for months before those days. I had long days of sleepless nights. I had to prepare and study and really concentrate. I had to give more than a hundred percent in order to say I tried my very best. But during those moments, many had been praying for me. These included my family, my relatives, my neighbors, my friends, the souls, the saints, Mama Mary (hmmm, did I forget to mention anybody), oh yes, and all the angels. Me, I also prayed novenas in Binondo church. Wow! Our prayers really worked!

Don’t get me wrong. When we pray, it doesn’t mean that all of it will be granted. The Lord has a way of knowing what is good and what is bad for each of us (His hands must be full). Often times we pray for things that we want to happen in our lives or things that we want to have and enjoy without thinking of what effect it may have on us or with the people around us. Sometimes, we get impatient. We demand what we ask for (gimme, gimme, gimme) and give the Lord an ultimatum (give me……...or else………). We are fortunate enough our Lord is very understanding.

Well, prayer works mysteriously. The Lord may say ‘Yes, it is okay. Your wish is granted’. He may say “Wait a while, it is not yet time, you’re not ready yet, but it will be granted”. He may also say ‘No, it is not okay. I will give you something much better than what you are praying for’. But no matter how Jesus answers our prayer, we can not question THE POWER OF PRAYER.

-luisadelacruz

GOD IS GOOD…ALL THE TIME

When I was two years old, I got sick of polio. As a result, my right foot shrank (Oh no!). From grade 1 to grade 6, I had a brace from the heel of my right foot all through my limb. I had difficulty walking especially climbing the stairs. Boy, it was an ordeal, not to mention the wounds caused by the straps and steel that constantly rubbed my skin (ooouuuccchhh). And when a screw got lost, or a metal snapped (pak), my, I couldn’t take even just a single step (sigh).

When I was in high school and college, hey, I was promoted. I got rid of the braces and what had I got, a cane, which my dear father crafted for me. What a relief, except for those slippery floors especially when the rain seemed to enjoy getting them wet (ooopppsss, ouch again).

When I took up my second course in college (yes, I seemed to love the painstaking ordeal of getting diplomas), I had another promotion. Still a cane but this time, it had four tiny feet-like supports at the bottom for stability. My dear Mama saved money just to buy me one.

The whole of my life, I had limitations in all of my actions because of my handicap. I can not do everything I want to do especially as far as physical effort is concerned. There are many precautions I have to take. It is hard.

My life is a dramatic one (Hu, hu, hu!). I know there are many whose lives were more dramatic than mine (in fact, theirs are box office hits), but it is still a very hard and very painful one, especially to a handicapped person like me. Each step I have to take, each dream I want to achieve, all these I can with extra effort. All through these hardships, all through these pains, can I still say God is good? . . . . YES, YES AND YES, WITHOUT A DOUBT, God is so very good, all the time. With all the downfalls in my life, He and only He is the One I can rely on. He alone is the best of all the best friends I have. I can’t imagine going through my life without Jesus.

The Lord entrusted me to a very wonderful family. My parents and sisters gave me so much love and support. The brother I never had, I had Him in Jesus. My dear Mama instilled in my heart and mind the love for Him (she even carved it there). In spite of my handicap, they showed me that I can be what I want to be, that I can achieve what I put my heart into, that I am also human, and even better than the others.

Our physical feature is not as important as the kind of person we are inside us. You see my handicap is a blessing somehow (hey, I am not insane for believing this). If I am not handicapped, I may not be as humble as I am now (naks!). I may not be as sensitive to the people around me. I may not have received extra love and extra care the whole of my life from my family (just like a teddy bear). But, most important of all, I may not have considered Jesus my very best Friend.

I strongly believe that everything that happens in our lives has a purpose. We may realize it at once or we may see it much later, but all of it is for the better. But no matter how happy, sad, painful or hilarious those situations are the Lord is so good to stand by our side all the time. He will laugh with us (Ha! Ha! Ha!), cry with us (Hu! Hu! Hu!), or just be quiet ( ) and listen. It depends upon the kind of Friend we need at the moment. God is good, all the time.

If only you will open your eyes you will see. Whatever handicap you may have, whether physical, emotional, spiritual . . . someday it will be a blessing to you and others. You'll never know. In your weakness, God will be your strength! Focus on the good things, my friend! Look at your life. Look at the people who loves you. Look at the lessons you learn through your experiences. Look at the blessings you receive day by day. If you will only open your eyes and look . . . . really look, you can also believe and say . . . . GOD IS GOOD . . . . ALL THE TIME!

-luisadelacruz